This blog is to Me, to serve as a reminder and an encouragement to Enjoy the Life I have now.

I suffer from Depression and sometimes in this materialistic, 'must-have' world its hard to appriciate the things I have and the simple things I enjoy.

Tuesday, 24 September 2013

Into Autumn Continued

Just had to post up these photo's I took as I strolled around my garden this morning, one of my favourite things are dew-jeweled spiderwebs!




I do wish so much I was better at photography, as this photo's took me ages to get, along with many 'fails'. i tried lots of settings on my dslr, to get it to focus on just these little pearls of dew!!I still have no idea how or what setting I used to get these! Haha! quite a fluke!! 


I also noticed a huge mushroom/toadstool is the garden, this was just over the height of my hand! 
I do love this shot, with the dewy grass...my imagination is delighted with ideas of this being a little home for some little creature! ...I read far too much Enid Blyton as a child!! My favourite story book was/is a Ladybird 'well-loved tales' book of Town Mouse and Country Mouse, purely for the illustrations by Ken McKie. I've always been a Country Mouse at heart! 

Well, the washing machine is whirling and sloshing, the boys are busy with a Maths App on my Kindle, and I have plenty of housework to be getting on with. 

Saturday, 21 September 2013

Into Autumn...

Today really suddenly felt like Autumn.
Normally in September I feel like its the 'End of Summer' still, but with the dull, rainy weather we've had for the past two weeks, the fireplace has had to be cleaned and stoked up and the autumn chill has arrived early. 

(Tonight's fire blazing and crackling as I type!)
Our big goose and duck feather duvet has been taken from the loft to the dry cleaners, and over our current summer duvet we had swathed the big crochet blanket and snuggled up in our brushed cotton pj's and nightshirts again. 
The boys have had the radiator on at night, although our one in our room has gone to my step-daughter Jess. 
Late this afternoon I felt inclined to take a walk around the field at the back of our cottage. 










The field this time last year








The field this year, in the rear left, the row of trees there are the edge of our garden, and yes, my chickens followed me on my walk!!!







The uneven grasses were moist and damp and scattered within were 'villages' of mushrooms and toadstools.
 I was really fascinated with the different varieties I saw. 
I have no idea what's what, I tried looking on a foraging/wild food site but just got confused and unsure...so many mushrooms that are edible are so very similar to those that are deadly poisonous, and grow right near each other too, so much to my chagrin I left them well alone.



 


 

I shall call these 'nipples'





I also came across trees laden with these blue/black fruits, I was sure they were Sloes and I was correct! from a Blackthorn tree. The only thing I can find to make with these is Sloe Gin...not really my thing. Apparently they are very bitter. Oh Well.



But then my eye caught..sumptuous plump blackberries!! So I got my basket and went a-foraging...oh the bushes were so plentiful and bejeweled with these bounteous, juicy nuggets of sweet brambly goodness!


I was our for at least an hour, in the distance I could hear my boys playing the the garden, they occasionally came out to the field to bolt around and chase each other, totally immersed in their game, with sound effects and background music all included! i so remember doing that as a kid, there I'd be hurtling my barbie along a dangerous, valley wide zip wire (mum's washing line...my barbie was no princess she was more a Lara Croft type, long before Lara existed!) as she effortlessly swung across her perilous transportation, I be singing "dunna dunna dunna dunna, durrr durr durrrrrrr, durdurdurdurdurdur durrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr dundundun" and so on...haha! and always played with an American accent!! hahaha!

The air was chilling but still not cold. I had my 3 quarter length sleeves,
 tunic with a new woollen sleeveless cardigan that i got for a bargain £2 at the charity shop today, with leggings, chunky boot socks and ankle boots. 
I sauntered down the lane and breathed in the moist earthy aroma, heard the Canadian geese and water fowl from the adjacent fishing lakes heralding the dusk. A lady passed me her evening bike ride and we greeted each other with a friendly hello, she smiling knowingly/approvingly at my overflowing basket of blackberries!

i really felt that i was doing something so very natural and normal. It feels so good and right to forage wild growing foods. I suddenly felt more spiritual and content knowing that our Creator designed our Earth to provide us with such simple joys and nourishment for us and wildlife too.  
Life should be simple and unhurried, we should be able to just take the time out to walk and enjoy our countryside, our surroundings. To pick fruit from the hedgerows and to savour the turning season's air. 

I feel blessed to be fortunate enough to live somewhere that has these things. It has been a lifelong dream of mine to live in the country. 
It isn't everyone's idea of comfort and idealisticality, (yeah, I made that word up!Spell check is denying its existence too but hell, if 'Twerking' can make it into Webster's, so can mine!! hahaha!) 
but...I'm done with conforming to the generic, materialistic masses!! 
As I type, the fire is roaring, Hubby is reading in the glow of a candle lamp and the subdued corner lamp, its so nice to not have the TV on..we don't even have a TV channel reciever or licence, we just watch DVD's or stream an occasional program or film. I think it's kinda sad that I used to spend every evening in front of the TV watching whatever was on...the same old entertainment, the same formats and mediocre talent...I did get all caught up in it all and I'd get upset if I missed an episode...but now, I don't miss it at all...I have come to be totally bored by it all and when I do look at an entertainment magazine in the shop I have no idea who's who!! haha!   
Back then, I would have thought not having the TV on would be boring! But, the peace and real relaxation we get from reading, a cheeky browse on Ebay/Pinterest, and spending time together as a family is not at all boring to me. 

Anyway....here is my foraging results....





Oh what to do with them...blackberry and apple or pear crumble? (I was eyeing up my neighbours pear tree, that was drooping with the laden fruit!) or take another walk in a few days to pick more to make Blackberry Jam (my favorite smell in the whole world is making Blackberry Jam, takes me right back to childhood)
Hubby wants them to make a fruit cider with but he has too much to be getting on with at the moment and they'll go bad before he's ready to use them!)....hmmmmmm, what to make! What do you think?





Tuesday, 21 May 2013

Home Sweet Home

Last night, as I had just tucked myself into my cosy brushed cotton covered bed, I remember with a slight horror that I hadn't locked in my dear Chickens.
So I got up, tiptoed through my quiet house, the smooth oak floorboards creaking as I pass over.
My cat Charlie, stalks me like a shadow, curious and hopeful for another meaty meal.
I opened the kitchen door and am blasted with the fresh wind of the night.
I tiptoe as quickly as I can to the coop, the damp dewy grass licking at my flip-flopped feet.
I slide the door down and slide across the lock. I go to the nest box at the side, open the flap slowly and see my nestled sleeping hens, in each nest box. I gently stroke each one, each sighing a little 'brrrr' of contentment. The most cautious of the two, Vivien opens her eye briefly to check it is me, and shuffles irritated that I woke her and more so that I touched her, which she never lets me do in the day.
I whisper goodnight, aware that if anyone could actually observe me I would be considered quite sentimental and pathetic!
I lock the nest box, and feel safe in the knowledge I have done all I can to secure them from Mrs. Fox, who prowls around in the early morning, and who stole their companion, Dottie a few months ago.

As I make my way back to my house, I breathe in the fresh, cool air and am seduced by the sweet, heady perfume of the 'tree' of Lilac behind the coop.
I take in several slow, deep breaths enjoying and savouring the beautiful scent, so strong and vibrant in the cool night. I look up at the sky, wisps of cloud like pulled cotton wool, stretching fibres across the navy indigo sky, with feint twinkles of starlight, and the moon, quiet and far, shining with somewhat of a subdued hazy light.
I see my garden in the moonlight, still and colourless.
I feel peaceful. Content. Safe but cold, in my floral pyjamas.


The Coop & Lilac in the day


My bedroom window, bird cage feeder and Lilacs
I creep back to my bed, slip in to the still warm covers, my husband, who was awake when I left, is snoring gently. I lay in the dark, absorbing the warmth and snuggling down into the feather duvet.

I think of how I am more at home in this new home of ours, than I have ever felt in any other home my husband and I have had.
Our first little ground floor flat, with its large spacious living room and bedroom but tiny kitchen and bathroom. Our happiness there was marred by the neighbours surrounding us, one with a bad relationship and frequent fights. One with a huge dog who would howl when his owner was out, but the worst was the man above us whom I was in constant fear of. A very angry and aggressive, huge man.
Through the day he banged and sawed, lord knows how much renovation the flat could take, he must have covered the entire place in wood by the sounds of it!
He was brutal to the women he managed to bring home, and often the police would turn up...
I am then reminded of our 2nd home, a 3 bedroomed terraced house in the same town, with streetlights outside our bedroom windows and a noisy pub at the end of the street. Those things I would happily have endured and put up with but again the neighbours joined to us, a single mother who worked all day, had 4 children who were left to their own devices.
they would skip school and sit on the shed roof, smoking and throw their cigarette butts, and other rubbish over our garden. I remember holding my baby, and being horrified that these children, just 9 and 7 were smoking and skipping school. They should be sweet, innoncent little girls, playing with dolls!!
The boy of the house just 11, was in and out of the police custody with his bad behaviour. At night my  baby son would be terrified to go to bed as the screaming, shouting, swearing, arguing and fighting could be heard as if it were the next room. They got worse and worse, stealing from us and deliberately tormenting us.
We left as soon as we could and moved to a village, away from our hometown, but the house was too big, and I felt overwhelmed, lonely and overlooked.
I never felt safe. The house next to us was broken in and burgled, our car was broken into and the stereo stolen. The garden was shady, and overgrown shrubs, bushes and trees surrounded our small back garden, . If I ever had to venture outside in the night, I would feel scared and paranoid. Frightened of what may lurk in the shadows that eclipsed the garden.  It was not how I had imagined village life. Everyone who passed our house looked in, but no one was friendly, despite the seemly friendly 'good morning' some gave.

Yes, here, in this tiny cottage, I am at home.
I can walk through the bushes at the back of our garden, and walk around our boundary, there is just one place a person can peek thorough, at the meeting of our hedge and my neighbours hedge at the back, this is what you see
 
 


Some friends/family who have visited us here have quietly looked around, and then to others have said after their visit 'well,.....I couldn't leave there', or comment on how small and cold it is.
I was even mocked and teased for calling it a 'cottage' and that I was romantising it and in a dream world!
 I felt quite defensive of my little home!
It may not have a thatched roof as some imagine a cottage to be but I looked up the definition in 3 dictionaries to see if I had indeed been mis-describing it
cot·tage  
/ˈkätij/
Noun
  1. A small simple house, typically one near a lake or beach.
  2. A dwelling forming part of a farm establishment, used by a worker.
 
Well, we live opposite a large fishing lake, and we are a few minutes walk from the beach! and it is indeed a small simple house! it was built for and lived in by the farm owners housekeeper and since then by the farm workers.
Other dictionaries say it is usually in the country and one storey.
I think that 'Cottage' describes my little home very well.
My step-daughter says its 'just a bungalow' however a bungalow is a large detached low house usually with rooms in the attic with windows, or just one storey.
 

But I suppose this little house is not to every ones taste and preferences.
We have single glazed windows, and just an open fire in the living room.


 


 It can get very cold in the winter, our first winter was indeed a learning curve, and next winter we shall be prepared.
it is small, a bit poky, and cramped. We are planning to build an 'outhouse' to house my drier and freezer and to store things that are making the kitchen overwhelmed!



the cream vintage cupboard is now blue and white as seen below and also my chicken Hetty who loves to come in
 

 
The back garden is very uneven but spacious and I love the surrounding trees
 
 
In April, a bit barren
 
 
May, much more leafy!
That garden swing has been with us since our 2nd house, and I love it!


taken from my swing, my bed linen and my neighbours cottage (he is still a farm worker)
 
outside my kitchen door
 
 
All the 'cons' of this place, are outweighed but the feeling of contentment, the little shiver of glee and fondness I get every morning as I walk back from the end of the lane where the boys meet their school bus, the oaks, young and old with their fresh green leaves, hanging over the lane, and through the trees I see our little brick cottage, nestled back a little, sigh...Home Sweet Home.





Our Lane, where my boys can relatively safely ride and scoot
Home
It may not be big, spacious, modern, neat and beautiful even, but we are so very content here.

Tuesday, 19 March 2013

Dear Me,


Just like the joy and delight opening a fresh, blank notebook can be, so this new blog post is, however, the pressure within myself to write something profound, interesting or thoughtful squishes out any of those notions and I am left here, staring at a blank page wondering what to say.

Its actually a relief that my blogs are always so insignificant and somewhat un-noticed by the world, otherwise I would be overwhelmed with the responsibility to entertain and amuse!
Many years ago I would have relished attention and a little notority, but I changed somewhere along the line, my bubbly personality ran out of 'fizz/gas', and I feel intimidated and overwhelmed by attention.
Anyway....How I am now is not how I'll always be/feel, one day it will all be better.

Life isn't awful or unhappy for us right now.
We got through a really hard few years, hard becauses of silly choices we made in life, because of consequences, because of how life is, because of the 'economic downturn'.
We had to downsize, change the way we were living and now we live in this little bungalow, 2 minutes from a 'rustic' little tiny 'beach', with fields behind us.
Some would think I am being unrealistic and imaginative by describing my home as a little seaside cottage in the countryside, so I won't!

We're just managing on a meager income, and I've had to adopt a thriftier lifestyle...but I like it,( not because its 'fashionable' at the moment.)
I've had a house full of Clutter and 'Things', and it never brought any true happiness or contentment, just an insatiable yearning for More.

I want to be able to look back on this blog and remind myself of how happy we can be with little means. How it doesn't take much to enjoy life and the things around us, and how actually we haven't 'ended up' here,as in that we have failed in life, but we have been blessed with what we've always craved and wanted and needed all along.
Having a constant battle with Depression I need to focus on positive things  and encouraging things.

So I'm going to blog about  my favourite things.
Just simple pleasures, little delights, things that make me smile, or make my heart warm with fondness.